The Ten Commandments of Engineering Students

1. Thou shalt remember to add “+C” to thy indefinite integrals but never to definite integrals; otherwise be forewarned of the inevitable rage and red-pen fury from thy angry professor who has seen this mistake for the hundredth time.

2. Thou shalt care for thy calculator as if thy life is at stake, for verily it is.

3. Thou shalt stay awake in calculus class, even though it is at eight o’clock Monday morning and do not believe the deception of coffee as a sufficient caffeine source, for nothing can defeat the invisible lassos of sleep as the professor lectures on solid shapes and rotations of axes.

4. Thou shalt not audibly laugh when the business major asks for help with their “impossible math,” although thou art allowed to repeatedly state the easiness of the problem and repeat the story to other engineering students, especially when said business major is present or in the vicinity.

5. Thou shalt not discuss World of Warcraft on thy first date, unless he/she first broaches the topic, which is a sign from the deities of Azeroth that thou hath found thy soul mate.

6. Thou shalt not expect to ever have to remember the above commandment, as it is statistically improbable that thou shalt have time/interest/prospects to date.

7. Thou shalt honor the weekend and keep it set apart for math, a jealous and demanding master.

8. Thou shalt respect professors, for they control thy grades this semester and most likely for thy classes next semester.

9. Thou shalt remind thyself that thou will make more money than the liberal arts majors, regardless of the fact that they never do more than read a novel and wonder why thou study all the time and are still stressed.

10. Thou shalt keep all these commandments as if thou art not aware that psychology, English, and mass communications majors exist; to reassure thyself of this truth, refer to non-engineering majors as “the easy stuff” and state this each morning as thou prepareth to face and conquer that malevolent entity which takes the form of statics.

Image: Jennifer Renee /